I aim to provide a safe, empathic and confidential environment for you to feel able to share your thoughts and feelings freely. My work is respectful and non-judgmental.
As a psychodynamically trained counsellor I am interested in your past to inform me about your present. It helps me to understand you and your struggles. Together we will gently explore your feelings, trying to find out their root and understand your reaction to them. I will link some of your feelings, thoughts and experiences to increase your self-awareness so you can understand the choices you have made unconsciously. I aim to help you strengthen your inner self through our work and along with your new self-awareness, help you develop the ability to make conscious decisions about the choices that are available to you for a more contented life.
The way we relate to ourselves is often the result of early childhood experiences when we internalised our carers’ interaction with us as positive or negative messages about ourselves and our value, limiting our potential for a fulfilled life. My intention is to help you expand your potential by developing a more accurate understanding of who you are.
Our way to relate to others is influenced by the style of attachment we have experienced in childhood. Many of us have adapted to our initial emotional environment in developing defences to protect ourselves against hurt. Once essential, these defences are often unhelpful in later years. What looks like a justified reaction to some present hurt, is often a reaction learned from a hurt in childhood. Becoming aware of these defences and what is triggering them now, is a step towards less hurt and more satisfying relationships. I use a variety of techniques from trauma therapy to address this area.
My work with couples is anchored in The Couple’s Developmental Model. This model has a clear structure to identify a couple’s area of need for growth and working towards it, including techniques for more effective communication between partners. I integrate this model with the approaches previously described, seeking to facilitate each partner's personal growth and connection at a deeper level.
For many years I have worked as a counsellor for Cruse Bereavement Care. Working with bereaved clients has given me an intense awareness of the importance of acknowledging our losses - whatever the nature of the loss - and the need to process them before we are able to move forward and grow from the experience.
Regarding trauma work, my approach is gentle and combines aspects of Neuroscience, Somatic Attachment, Psychodynamic therapy and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing). This approach doesn't require my clients to describe the trauma in detail and therefore avoid potentially re-traumatisation.
Counselling in Kent